Synastry is the study of how any two (or more) individuals’ natal horoscope interact with and affect one another. This is where (in my opinion) a lot of the meat of astrology lies since we don’t exist in a vacuum but are, instead, always under the influence of those that raised us and those with which we share our closest relationships as adults.
There are a couple of base principles that you need to have mastered before synastry will mean anything to you: the signs, the planets, and the aspects. Without this basic framework (what I am calling Astrology 101 here), you will not be able to synthesize the elements needed to understand how we work with and against our others.
Synastry is More Than Sun Sign Compatability
This is the biggest issue that I find with a lot of modern American astrology in general – you (and your Others) are more than just your Sun sign. All books that focus exclusively on Sun Sign synastry are, to some degree, complete horse shit. You can learn a lot through them about how each sign interacts with one another – but – you are more than your Sun Sign. At the most basic level, you are (up to*) THREE signs that all hold potentially equal weight in your personality: your Sun Sign, Your Moon Sign, and your Rising Sign (aka the Ascendant).
So, you read a book that says Taurus** gets along with other earth signs and water signs best. Cool, this is true (to a degree – that is definitely oversimplified but bear with me here). But what if your Moon is in Aries? Aries may not like the earth and water signs nearly as much as Taurus does – in fact – Aries is naturally at odds with (aka square) to one earth sign: Capricorn and one water sign: Cancer. (I’m a double Taurus – Sun and Ascendant)
Indeed, the opposite is also true. An Aries is going to get along with fire and air signs most easily. But Taurus doesn’t like fire and air signs as much as Aries and is naturally at odds (again square) to one fire sign: Leo and one air sign: Aquarius. So in this case, the astrological native (me) is likely to get along somewhat well is some earth signs (Taurus and Virgo), some water signs (Pisces and Scorpio), some fire signs (Aries and Sagittarius), and some air signs (Gemini and Libra) but get along less well, on average with Cancer, Leo, Capricorn, and Aquarius. You can presume from this information that I might favor the earth and water signs on this list due to my double Taurus Sun and Ascendant.
But Wait, There’s More!
Again, keeping with myself as an example: does this play out in real life that way?
Sorta…
Truthfully, I favor earth, water, and air signs mostly and have more issues with fire signs on average. I find myself much more comfortable with somebody who has a fire moon sign than a fire sun sign. I actually have a large number of people in my life with Cancer and Leo in their charts and although I find these people challenging at times, I enjoy the challenge. (I tend to appreciate Capricorn and Aquarius less though I am learning to like those challenges, too.) Some people like complicated relationships and some people don’t. This is something that can sometimes be spotted in the natal horoscope but also has a lot to do with how that person was raised, their life story, and personal traumas. You cannot tell for sure if somebody likes challenging or simple relationships without asking them. If you don’t have a lot of personal awareness, you may not truly be aware if YOU like challenging or simple relationships.
A quick astrological rule of thumb though: the more complicated the personal natal chart, the more chances that the person will pursue challenging relationships. It is believed that we do this because we seek to understand ourselves through others and people with complicated charts have more to understand about themselves. More about that later.
What Makes a Simple Chart Vs. A Complicated Chart
I will write a post about this on its own but here are a few key things to look for.
- A person who has the Sun, Moon, and Ascendant all in compatible elements (earth and water – or – air and fire) is more simple in the sense that their lights all agree on what type of people they would feel most comfortable interacting with.
- A person who has the Sun, Moon, and Ascendant in non-compatible elements will be inherently more complicated as they will need to fulfill the differing needs of these lights.
- To a lesser degree, the elements of the other personal planets (Mercury, Venus, and Mars) have an impact on the type of people you will be most comfortable with as well
- Aspects play a role in the complexity of a chart. Conjunctions, sextiles, and trines are considered easier in that they (most often) share compatible elements. Squares, semi-sextiles, and inconjunctions are more complicated as they (most often) share less compatible elements.
- Though oppositions share compatible elements, they are considered complicated aspects.
- The more complicated aspects have in your chart, the more complicated your chart will be and the inverse goes for the easier aspects.
Synastry between two people is the study of the way that the two persons’ individual charts interact in aspect with one another
Now that we have a base sense of how the individual natal chart might cause us to seek out easy or more complicated relationships, we need to define what is a more easy or complicated relationship. This is done by sign, as I touched on above, but it is also done by aspect. The art of synastry is comparing the natal charts of two or more individuals. Just as you would in a personal horoscope, you look at the aspect (to the degree) between each planet in one person’s natal chart and each planet in the other person’s natal chart. For basic synastry, we will focus primarily on the Rising Sign and the personal planets as these make up our “personality”. The lights (Sun, Moon, and Ascendant) are weighted more heavily here but one should not discount the elements and aspects involving Mercury, Venus, and Mars. Two individuals with compatible Mercury signs (Mercury trine Mercury is the perfect example here) may be able to talk through conflicts that arise through their other planets in a way that individuals with incompatible Mercury signs cannot. Synastry is big picture thinking – it involves synthesizing all of the individual aspects experienced between two individuals and seeing the overall picture.
Depending on the type of relationship, different aspects will indicate compatibility or not I’m not going to go into the specifics of all of this here as this is complicated and involves years of study. But, to keep it extremely simple: if you work with somebody being able to communicate with them (Mercury) and the ability to sync work cycles (Mars) will likely be the most important to have a good working relationship. If you live with somebody, how they feel most comfortable (the Moon) and how they react when they are stressed out (Venus and Mars) will show a lot of whether you are comfortable sharing a space with somebody long term. Intimacy, both sexual and emotional, involves a combination of the Moon, Venus, and Mars or Mercury if you want to talk about it.
I could and should write a post entirely about this at some point.
The closer a relationship you have with somebody, the more that the overall synastry between you two matters.
For a casual feel-good friendship or occasional work relationship – one or two feel-good aspects between two individuals can keep the relationship running smoothly. On the other hand, if you live with an individual, you may need to have a lot of overall chart compatibility so that you will stay in alignment with one another. You would likewise need to have a better overall synastry with a close work partner that you work with on a daily or weekly basis. Big “R” relationships will work in a similar way: a simple hookup or short term fling can be sustained for a time off of one or two favorable aspects (Venus conjunct Mars, for instance) but a marriage may need to have multiple strong aspects (likely easy and complicated) to work for the long haul.
Lastly
Sometimes Synastry Doesn’t Matter
If somebody doesn’t want to like you – for whatever reason – synastry doesn’t count for shit. I’ve learned this the hard way. The person I know who hates me the most has the best synastry with my chart that I have ever seen. I’m not kidding. We should be besties forever by the numbers.
Instead, she finds me endlessly threatening. She has been waging a psychological war against me basically since the day that we met.
If somebody isn’t interested, good astrology doesn’t mean shit.
* theoretically your Sun, Moon, and Ascendant could all fall in the same sign **I am going to use myself as an example since it is the chart with which I am the most familiar